Life has been a bit tough lately. It has been amazing, too, but also a challenge. Yes, there are profound changes, wondrous gifts, surprising connections and reconnection. And I am grateful, yes indeed. There has also been a rising intensity and sometimes overwhelming examples of just how out of balance our existence is here on the planet. It can be painful to witness these things, to feel them – especially when they are glaring examples that show up from inside our own selves…
And so, inevitably, a humbling reminder comes of my own imbalance, which has been growing for a while. First as a quiet unease, a sense that something is not quite right. When ignored, it gets louder, the unease is almost unbearable. I finally stop, let life come to a halt, sitting in the car, completely exhausted, unsure what to do, where to go. I remember – when unsure of where to begin, start with the breath. Yes. This always works. So, breathing, becoming conscious, slowing down to center. And in the center is: surrender. And in the surrender is: truth. The message that wants to be heard. There it is. Small, a delicate thought, a shift, a letting go, a new view – subtle, yet so necessary and powerful. Yes. Embarrassing, humbling, yes. Also there is relief in the knowing of it, a chance to stand on a clear foundation.
So, I am sitting there, still, slowly adjusting, beginning to see the world through new eyes. Any hardness is softened, no need for protection. I ask – is this what you have wanted me to get to? The answer – yes. Ok then. Here I am, ready to start over from a place that truly matters.
And then it comes, finding it’s way through my partly opened window, nudging it’s little self into my tired awareness… a tiny bird somewhere in the tree next to me, singing her heart out, singing as if her life depended on it, singing — for me. One moment, one deep breath of surrender, and there it is – a sign of life. My day is changed. I chuckle in spite of myself, and I say Thank You.
All Content Copyright © 2012 Photos/Words by Amy Allis